Keeping the guns holstered

Remember that book I read, Guns A'Blazing: How Parents of Children on the Autism Spectrum and Schools Can Work Together Without a Shot Being Fired, which is currently circumnavigating the globe as part of the Mama Edge READ IT FORWARD!© Program? I must say, that book certainly helped me keep my weapon (aka my tongue) holstered during my recent TEAM TAZ meeting. (My mom, the Goddess of Liquid Love, was also the picture of civility ... though, if looks could kill, the meeting would have ended with a coroner puzzling over how two sphincter-faced teachers spontaneously combusted. Surprised that such a kind, giving woman as my GOLL would have such lethal powers? Where do you think I got my inner Marzan from? Meow!)

It took me a while after the meeting to write a letter requesting a re-opening of Taz's IEP. The first draft was so hostile that I may as well have written it by shooting holes in the paper with an automatic weapon.

Eventually, after a few hours of indulging wicked fantasies involving me, Assface, and a waterboarding device silent meditation, I was able to craft a much more appropriate IEP request:

Dear Vice Principal:

Today was the first time that Taz's teachers, therapists, family, and other service providers met as a team to develop a common, strengths-based treatment plan. It became clear during the meeting that several aspects of Taz's IEP require clarification and revisiting. Some of the goals in Taz's IEP are not being implemented, and he is not receiving the level of support that was envisioned when the IEP was written in the spring. I would like to request that his IEP be reopened immediately. I also am requesting that you attend the IEP meeting, as well as Wonder Man (Taz's former school case manager), who would be instrumental in explaining what is in the current IEP.

Your assistance would be greatly appreciated.

Not one single mention of assfacery! I'm quite pleased with myself, though admittedly I continue to struggle with keeping my itchy trigger tongue and atomic-wedgie-hungry hands to myself. I shall now pledge to you, dear readers, that no matter what, I shall not resort to name-calling, obscene language, or the hiking of a certain person's granny panties in the coming weeks. That is my solemn vow to you.